11:19 p.m. - 2007-02-03
Are you there?
Hewwo! I doubt anyone will read this, but I miss having some sort of journal.
If anyone is reading, there isn't much to update on, so don't feel like you've missed any of my life.
So, I guess the present is a good place to start. Life is going okay. M and I are "dealing" with each other..for lack of a better phrase. I think it will be over for good soon. A couple of weeks ago marked 9, maybe 10 years that we've been dealing with each other on some level and it doesn't appear as if he's grown up any. A lot of things that he says/does lets me know that he is not the one for me. I've always known this but I guess I was in denial.
I'd had a lot of issues with my ex best friend. It's a shame because I feel that she probably needs me but I can't keep just being there for her when she won't be there for me. She left her husband to be with his sister. Some Springer type shit. That's not my issue though. It's just that ever since she hooked up with B, she will only call me when it's advantageous for her to do so. I'm not into being used.. Her girlfriend hates me and is convinced that I want Mercy for myself. Wherever would she get that from?? I hardly ever visit and when I did I tried to make conversation with B and explain our inside jokes. So now, I never get to see my Godchild and when I call I don't get called back or when I do get a call back, she quickly changes the subject to something that I can "help her" with. Ugh! This hurts my heart but I can't do this.
I'm ready to quit my job. I started out there part time about 2 years ago to make a little extra cash but became a manager last January. They are doing so much shit to fuck with me, it's ridiculous. The racism is very blatant and it's just not a good work environment. I can't get into too many details because you never know who is reading your shit. Financially, we'll be okay for a while if I quit, but it sucks not working. I'm still in school so its not like I wouldn't have anything to do. I don't know though.
Anyway, I thought I was going to bed, but I've changed my mind. I think I want to go get a drink
